Listen: Extreme sports fans exasperated by August’s publication, The Surfer’s Journal, gracing the cover of the gorgeous Nathan Fletcher, throw some air!


No one goes into martial arts for community, discipline, or companionship. You entered this gymnasium to create an ultra-violent fighting machine.

This way, we’ve been around the world enough not to be shy. We know the pitfalls.

Let’s be realistic.

No one goes into martial arts for community, discipline, or camaraderie, although this ideal is often expressed to friends, family.

You walked into this gym because you wanted to beat another man.

You wanted to create a dynamite fighting machine with ultra-violent ability.

You bite a lot of trouble in the water and it’s more than you can chew, what are you doing, badass? You want skills.

The girl gets slapped in a bucket bar of blood and she’s counting on you to wrap this jerk in your veils. Skills.

The child is belted by a trainer or by budding baby gangsters. Skills.

You want to walk high. Do not fear any man.

I threw with what was called Brazilian jiujitsu, as referenced here, here and here, but what is now rapidly evolving towards grappling all disciplines, snatching the best of wrestling, sambo and judo.

Does it work in surfing?

Let me sketch a recent surf fight.

Small but lush waves, not too bad crowd.

I’m in a pack with two buddies and another man that I’ve noticed before taking off pauses and whose rear foot operates from a position three inches in front of his caudal pad, a mirror image of me.

He rides a squared Tomo, a thousand dollar surfboard handled only by the best and the worst.

Define approaches.

Tomo man inside, boyfriend outside. Whistle for the buddy to go despite the superficial bursting of the surf etiquette.

The Tomo man screams with full apocalyptic vibrations; buddy ignores.

I take the next wave in the impact zone to take advantage of the melee firsthand.

Man Tomo insults his boyfriend’s premature appearance.

Pal lifts the Tomo man by the collar of his jumpsuit and… pop… pop… pop… three hits in the head. Jabs practiced. The eyes of the Tomo man are phosphorescent. He rolls to the side to avoid further blows.

A whole separates them, they leave.

Man Tomo tells another pair of surfers that he has just been belted up although the only injury, oddly enough, is a dislocated finger on my boyfriend’s hand, and adds something to the effect my boyfriend has. lucky he didn’t go to the beach because he would. ve triggered his jiujitsu.

I’m shivering.

Existential crisis. Did I just spend a year, six days a week, learning how to drive an obsolete vehicle?

(To note: Here we see the Wolf Pak’s Kala Alexander administering a classic BJJ take-down take-down, before the obligatory grounding and pounding a few years ago at Pipe.)

And now for a parenthesis, a message from our sponsor, whatever you call it: the benefits of jiujisu training have been great, but not as sharp as surfing. Here, let’s all stop to take a look at a recent day of surfing from two-time world surfing champion John John Florence, whose wrist is set in WHOOP.

Did you know that John John designed the special surfer rubber strap that you can use to wrap WHOOP?

John John, who will be twenty-nine in five days, went to bed at 7:43 p.m. on a Saturday, woke up a little after 5 a.m., surfed from 7:45 a.m. to 10:25 a.m., ate, maybe, little matter, then shredded from 12pm. : 40 to 4:03, a total of almost seven hours in the drink.

“I really enjoy surfing,” writes John John, who burned 4,309 calories and whose heart rate variability, a measure of the change over time between each heartbeat, the fitter you are, the higher the number. high, is a relatively impressive 77 although well below my 101, as seen below.

Less sleep too, Florence.

Buy your WHOOP here, fifteen percent off if you use code BEACHGRIT at checkout.

Either way, the deeper you get into the grappling game, the more you realize its inherent flaws, even though, as one man from jiujitsu, who surfs, told me, the guy who got punched Should have dived in, grabbed my buddy’s heel, hooked him up and snatched his. knee. No more surfing for you, buddy.

As advised by the philosopher, author, etc. Sammy Harris,

When you’re at arm’s length from your opponent, you want to be able to punch like a western boxer and kick like a Thai boxer.

As you get closer, you want to remain a Thai boxer in your ability to strike with your knees and elbows.

Once your opponent grabs you, or you him (melee), you want to have the skills of a Greco-Roman / freestyle wrestler – control his posture and throw him to the ground at will.

With sufficient clothing (jackets, coats or traditional martial arts uniforms), this vertical grappling can take the form of judo. The general image at this distance is of two people too close to hit each other effectively: you want to be the one who can move ground combat on their own terms – by performing kills or throws – and who can resist being caught. . the.

And if the fight goes to the ground, the surest route to home safety remains Brazilian jiu-jitsu. The original UFC reveal still stands.

He added an important caveat,

Because the BJJ is all about ground combat and is so decisive there, you can easily acquire a bias to go to the ground on principle. As you roll around the mat, perfecting arm locks and chokes, it’s easy to forget that in a real fight your opponent is very likely to punch you, or armed with a weapon, or in company of friends who might be eager to kick you in the head (facts which are dealt with summarily in most BJJ formations).

What’s a girl to do?

Next week: Fight with the bears!

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